• Monique Renewed

Are You in Love or Lust?

How do you know whether or not you are in love or is this just a lustful situationship you just landed yourself in?


There are some key indicators to determine if your relationship is based on true love or true lust.

What is Lust?


Lust is a desire in your heart to fulfill your senses that include touch, sight, hearing, smell, and taste.


Lust does not have to be in regards to only sex. For example, you can lust after food or money which can lead to greed and gluttony.


Love on the other hand is often described as an action word. It means putting yourself before others. You can say that you love someone but do your actions prove it?


I think the Bible verse that sums up the word love is John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.


You see, in the beginning, it’s all of all these lovey-dovey feelings which we call the puppy love stage. True love equates longevity, compromise, understanding, faithfulness, loyalty, and selflessness.



Many of us are in lust and don’t even know it.


It’s pleasing to our eyes, the relationship feels good, he tells me what I want to hear, but is he actually good for you sis?


Let’s take a look into the Bible for example.


Ezekiel 23:16-17

When she saw these paintings she longed to give herself to them, so she sent messages to Babylonia to invite them to come to her. So they came and committed adultery with her, defiling her in the bed of love. After being defiled, however, she rejected them and disgust.


This verse is about Oholibah who was considered a prostitute and represented Jerusalem. She let the lust of her eyes when she saw the images of these men overcome her. But do you see what happened after she fulfilled the lust of the flesh? She immediately became disgusted.


Often time lust can lead to shame, guilt, regret, and self-hatred.


So how do you know if you are in lust?


Lust will cause you to do illogical things just to feel good or just to feel satisfied temporarily.


Lust only cares about its own needs, wants, and desires.


Lust does not cause you to feel good about yourself after it’s been fulfilled.


You are often left with pain, regret, and shame.

My advice to you is to consider this in any relationship- is he patient, kind, understanding with you or does he tend to be jealous over you for no good reason?


Does he always demand his own way rather than compromising with you or easily gets irritated?


Then that’s not love according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-5.




This is most likely lust. The best thing to do is to re-examine the motives.

Does this person love me unconditionally?

Are they here to help me grow?

Do they only want to see the best for me?


This is literally the type of love God provides for you.


I think this is one of the reasons why God says to save sex for marriage is because sex will have you thinking you are in love when you’re really in lust. You have to remove sex from the equation because it will most likely cloud your judgment.


The best determining factor to determine if what you have is true love is God since God is love. So ask yourself, would God approve?




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