• Monique Renewed

How to Deal With Strict Parents as a Teenager

If you are anything like me, then you probably grew up with or are still dealing with strict parents.

You’re might be wondering to yourself “Why won’t they let me do anything?!”

Hebrews 12:10

For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, that we might share his holiness.

There are some unpleasant effects that overly strict parents can have on their children such as leaving them socially underdeveloped.

Once some kids get a taste of freedom, they run wild and become everything that their parents were trying to prevent in the first place.

I do believe there is a balance between being too lenient and too strict.

First thing is to get to the root cause of why your parents are restrictive so you can get a better understanding.

Understanding will help you not to lash out and make decisions based on impulse.

Consider the following factors when it comes to your parents:

  • Strict cultural background

  • Patterns learned from past generations

  • Fear of their children being harmed

Get to the reason why you think your parents are being strict. Most parents are trying to do the best they can with what they’ve been taught or know.

With that being said, here are some ways to deal with strict parents.

1. Change Your Perspective

Changing your perspective does not mean minimizing how you feel but looking for a positive out of the situation. Kids that come from overly lenient parents are at liberty to do whatever they want such as drink, smoke, have sex, do drugs, party, etc. if they choose.

Some kids are even sold into prostitution, kidnapped, or murdered because they did not have the guidance of their parents.

Sometimes we have to look at things from a bird’s eye view and be thankful for what might have been prevented through our strict parents even if it is not an ideal situation.

2. Do Not Make it Worse

No matter what, your parents still deserve your respect. If they say the final answer is no, then do not go around lying to them or sneaking out of the house for 10 minutes of fun.

It is not worth it and it will make things worse for you in the future, I promise you.

You will lose your parents’ trust and they will continue to put down an iron fist even harder. Do not disobey them, talkback, or curse them out. You will be known as the rebellious child who does not deserve freedom.

3. Examine Yourself

Some parents are strict with children who do well in school and do not get in trouble which warrants a different solution. But are you on the otherhand failing classes, disrespecting your teachers, not helping around the house, or not listening to your parents?

Then ask yourself why do you deserve any type of leniency?

Do not give your parents reasons to be super restrictive on you. Begin by examining yourself to make sure there aren’t any areas that need to be improved on. If so, then work on that first.

4. Communicate

Consider having a talk with your parents. If your behaviors do not warrant certain restrictions then ask them if it is possible that you guys can come to a compromise.

Talk to them with maturity and avoid whining or complaining.

Let them know that you understand why they are doing this and appreciate their protection but would like to be allowed to do certain things like XYZ. They may eventually reconsider.

5. Use Familiarity

Some parents will allow you to do things under certain conditions that do not exacerbate their fears. They may allow you to attend after-school activities, youth church events, or hang out with family friends.

They are less likely to be paranoid if they are already familiar with the people and environment you are going to be around.

Try introducing your friends to your parent or seeing if they will allow your friends to come over and hang out rather than you being out. Anything is better than nothing and familiarity will help calm their fears.

6. Realize This is Temporary

If your parents are so strict that they will not even allow the last option, then come to peace about the situation. Realize that this is only temporary.

Eventually, you might get a job, go off to college, or move out.

This will not last forever.

You will get your freedom and may understand why they acted the way they did later on down the line.

7. Find Others Who Can Relate

We may not always get our way in life, but know that you are not alone in your situation. There were friends in high school who had strict parents as I did.

We talked about it, shared stories, and even laughed about it.

Find some peers you can relate and talk to. It will make you feel better and less isolated.